Jo, thank you so much! I hoped the essay would give us a different way of looking at the menopausal experience, and a good laugh along the way. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Wonderfully imaginative, funny and poignant, thank you, Linda! I especially loved the intimacy part. And that brilliant final line about not confusing being needed with living a full life. I think many of us (myself included) needed to be needed, and feared being forgotten or unvalued if we weren't being available and useful all the time. So it wasn't just fear that the hive would fall apart, it was also fear that it wouldn't!
Victoria, thank you. I think you've put your finger on something profound. "The fear that it wouldn't."
So many of us learned to measure our value by how needed we were. Letting go of that isn't just about doing less, it's about discovering that we still matter, even when we're no longer holding everything together.
Yes, that is such an important distinction. We can resent how much people rely on us and still feel bad when they stop. It takes time to believe we can be loved and valued for who we are, not only for what we do for everyone.
This was such a clever and funny way to write about menopause Linda. What stayed with me most was how difficult it can be to stop being the person everyone relies on, even when that role has exhausted you. There is freedom in no longer being needed in the same way, but also the difficult question of who you are without it. 💕
Sara, yes, exactly. Being needed can become such a central part of who we are that stepping out of that role brings both relief and a surprising sense of loss. We may long for more freedom, then find ourselves wondering what to do with it when it arrives. I think midlife asks us to meet the woman whose identity was never meant to rest entirely on how useful she could be to everyone else. Thank you for understanding the heart of the essay so beautifully.
"Please stop trying to restore the previous signal", this really tells it like it is in a humorous way. I may still be able to use it, even though I am past menopause. I spent years being everyone's answer also. It took a long, hard conversation with my husband to change the frequency after decades of accommodating. This is exactly the memo I needed someone to write.
Geri, thank you. I think so many of us have spent years being everyone's answer without even realizing it. Then one day we look around and wonder how we got here. I'm really glad you and your husband were able to have that conversation. It isn't easy to change a pattern that's been there for decades, but it can be done.
And hearing you say this was the memo you needed... that's exactly why I wrote it. 🐝
Revised Royal Intimacy Policy 🤣🤣🤣 I love all of it, Linda. Thank you so much for this amazingly creative, fun and inspiring perspective! Warmly, Claudia
Claudia, thank you so much! I'm so glad the humor landed. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and it felt good to bring a little laughter to a conversation that can be so serious.
I'm delighted you enjoyed the Royal Intimacy Policy. 😂🐝
Dear Linda, this is a truly genius way to get across exactly the picture of what us women go through in menopause. It is truly a brilliant masterpiece. I read with nods, laughter (The Royal Chamber) and complete awe at how well this whole piece is so so spot on!. Seriously I can only thank you 🙏 I only found Substack via a friend’s work (different subject) this year and I managed to find you somehow. I feel like I have been gifted the key to my head through your writings . Just brilliant , thank you so much. So grateful.
Tracy, thank you. I really wanted this essay to feel like a conversation between women, one where we could laugh at ourselves while also recognizing something deeply true. I'm so happy it landed that way for you.
And what you said about finding "the key to my head"... I don't think I could ask for a greater compliment. Thank you for taking the time to tell me that.
Tracy, thank you for sharing it so generously. And I absolutely love that you told your son about it too. These conversations aren't just for women, they help all of us understand one another a little better. You've made my day. ❤️
As a bee lover and former 3:17 a.m. night walker, this resonated! I died laughing at the "I can't find the..." commentary, especially "sit with the discomfort for approximately 90 seconds." I'm sending this to my daughters and my mother, to thank my mother and to keep encouraging my daughters to share their hives. I see so many women who feel they have to completely leave their hive to escape its heaviness. May your message be amplified! Thank you for sharing in such a clever way.
Maryjane, thank you. I was really touched that you're sharing this with your mother and your daughters. I can't think of a nicer compliment. And yes... that's exactly it. The answer isn't leaving the hive. It's creating one where we don't have to carry so much of it by ourselves.
Have you ever heard a new song but it sounded like it had always been, was already a classic? That’s exactly how this reads. Full body yes to every line. So delightful and potent. I’m going to share it widely with other bees as I’ve done with other things you’ve written.
Also, this was a personally resonant and delightful metaphor for me since this morning I started rereading a book I loved 12 years ago called, serendipitously, Little Bee.
Angela, thank you. I'm so grateful it resonated with you in that way. And I smiled at the serendipity of you picking up Little Bee the very same day. Sometimes life has a lovely way of weaving these little threads together.
Thank you, too, for sharing my work with other "bees." That is such a generous gift, and I'm deeply grateful. 🐝
Great decision, resigning from that role. Next, consider resigning from anybody’s everything. I never want to be needed—only wanted for exactly who I am.
Blue, thank you. "Wanted for exactly who I am." I think there's so much wisdom in those few words. What a different way to experience relationships when our value no longer depends on how much we're carrying or how useful we can be.
Absolutely, Linda. I think we’re writing to the same audience. I’m wondering if there’s something we could do together—guest posts, Lives, something else? Would that interest you at all? Blue💙
Blue, thank you! I'd really enjoy that. I agree, we do seem to be writing to many of the same women. Let's connect in DMs and explore some ideas. I'd love to see what we might create together.
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I wanted to explore something many of us have experienced, but through a story that would make us smile along the way. I'm so glad the humor landed for you.
It’s refreshing to read something that’s a very frustrating topic for a lot of women told in a way that provides some lighthearted relief at the same time.
As one of my residents always says: “if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry” 😜
Anita, thank you. I'm so glad the essay brought you a smile. Sometimes the most meaningful conversations need a little humor to make them easier to hold.
Valerie, thank you. My hope is always that the story opens the door to a deeper conversation, so it means a lot to know this one landed with you. Thank you for reading.
I appreciate the outlook and your sense of humor! I'm figuring out the woman I'm becoming in the process. 😀 Buzzing out!
Neha, thank you! I'm so glad the humor landed. Sometimes laughter helps us hold the bigger conversations a little more gently.
Wishing you all the best as you get to know this new version of yourself... and thanks for buzzing by. 🐝
Brilliant!x
Jo, thank you so much! I hoped the essay would give us a different way of looking at the menopausal experience, and a good laugh along the way. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Wonderfully imaginative, funny and poignant, thank you, Linda! I especially loved the intimacy part. And that brilliant final line about not confusing being needed with living a full life. I think many of us (myself included) needed to be needed, and feared being forgotten or unvalued if we weren't being available and useful all the time. So it wasn't just fear that the hive would fall apart, it was also fear that it wouldn't!
Victoria, thank you. I think you've put your finger on something profound. "The fear that it wouldn't."
So many of us learned to measure our value by how needed we were. Letting go of that isn't just about doing less, it's about discovering that we still matter, even when we're no longer holding everything together.
Thank you for adding this to the conversation!
Yes, that is such an important distinction. We can resent how much people rely on us and still feel bad when they stop. It takes time to believe we can be loved and valued for who we are, not only for what we do for everyone.
This was such a clever and funny way to write about menopause Linda. What stayed with me most was how difficult it can be to stop being the person everyone relies on, even when that role has exhausted you. There is freedom in no longer being needed in the same way, but also the difficult question of who you are without it. 💕
Sara, yes, exactly. Being needed can become such a central part of who we are that stepping out of that role brings both relief and a surprising sense of loss. We may long for more freedom, then find ourselves wondering what to do with it when it arrives. I think midlife asks us to meet the woman whose identity was never meant to rest entirely on how useful she could be to everyone else. Thank you for understanding the heart of the essay so beautifully.
"Please stop trying to restore the previous signal", this really tells it like it is in a humorous way. I may still be able to use it, even though I am past menopause. I spent years being everyone's answer also. It took a long, hard conversation with my husband to change the frequency after decades of accommodating. This is exactly the memo I needed someone to write.
Geri, thank you. I think so many of us have spent years being everyone's answer without even realizing it. Then one day we look around and wonder how we got here. I'm really glad you and your husband were able to have that conversation. It isn't easy to change a pattern that's been there for decades, but it can be done.
And hearing you say this was the memo you needed... that's exactly why I wrote it. 🐝
Revised Royal Intimacy Policy 🤣🤣🤣 I love all of it, Linda. Thank you so much for this amazingly creative, fun and inspiring perspective! Warmly, Claudia
Claudia, thank you so much! I'm so glad the humor landed. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and it felt good to bring a little laughter to a conversation that can be so serious.
I'm delighted you enjoyed the Royal Intimacy Policy. 😂🐝
Looking forward to more from you ❤️
Dear Linda, this is a truly genius way to get across exactly the picture of what us women go through in menopause. It is truly a brilliant masterpiece. I read with nods, laughter (The Royal Chamber) and complete awe at how well this whole piece is so so spot on!. Seriously I can only thank you 🙏 I only found Substack via a friend’s work (different subject) this year and I managed to find you somehow. I feel like I have been gifted the key to my head through your writings . Just brilliant , thank you so much. So grateful.
From one leg out of the bed in Thailand
Tracy, thank you. I really wanted this essay to feel like a conversation between women, one where we could laugh at ourselves while also recognizing something deeply true. I'm so happy it landed that way for you.
And what you said about finding "the key to my head"... I don't think I could ask for a greater compliment. Thank you for taking the time to tell me that.
Sending warm wishes all the way to Thailand.
Thank you so much.
I’ve already sent it onto my UK girlfriends to read and spread far!
I have left Voice Messages for them .. insisting they find the time away from the hot flashes to blimming well make sure they read it! 🤣
You landed perfect with this one… I even told my son about it ! 🙏 New Gen man!
Tracy, thank you for sharing it so generously. And I absolutely love that you told your son about it too. These conversations aren't just for women, they help all of us understand one another a little better. You've made my day. ❤️
As a bee lover and former 3:17 a.m. night walker, this resonated! I died laughing at the "I can't find the..." commentary, especially "sit with the discomfort for approximately 90 seconds." I'm sending this to my daughters and my mother, to thank my mother and to keep encouraging my daughters to share their hives. I see so many women who feel they have to completely leave their hive to escape its heaviness. May your message be amplified! Thank you for sharing in such a clever way.
Maryjane, thank you. I was really touched that you're sharing this with your mother and your daughters. I can't think of a nicer compliment. And yes... that's exactly it. The answer isn't leaving the hive. It's creating one where we don't have to carry so much of it by ourselves.
Love this! 🐝
Thanks Maggie! I glad you enjoy it!
Have you ever heard a new song but it sounded like it had always been, was already a classic? That’s exactly how this reads. Full body yes to every line. So delightful and potent. I’m going to share it widely with other bees as I’ve done with other things you’ve written.
Also, this was a personally resonant and delightful metaphor for me since this morning I started rereading a book I loved 12 years ago called, serendipitously, Little Bee.
Angela, thank you. I'm so grateful it resonated with you in that way. And I smiled at the serendipity of you picking up Little Bee the very same day. Sometimes life has a lovely way of weaving these little threads together.
Thank you, too, for sharing my work with other "bees." That is such a generous gift, and I'm deeply grateful. 🐝
Nice one!
Thank you! I'm glad it resonated.
Great decision, resigning from that role. Next, consider resigning from anybody’s everything. I never want to be needed—only wanted for exactly who I am.
Blue💙
Blue, thank you. "Wanted for exactly who I am." I think there's so much wisdom in those few words. What a different way to experience relationships when our value no longer depends on how much we're carrying or how useful we can be.
Absolutely, Linda. I think we’re writing to the same audience. I’m wondering if there’s something we could do together—guest posts, Lives, something else? Would that interest you at all? Blue💙
Blue, thank you! I'd really enjoy that. I agree, we do seem to be writing to many of the same women. Let's connect in DMs and explore some ideas. I'd love to see what we might create together.
I loved every minute of reading this! What an original and well executed story! I thought it was brilliantly humorous and just so clever. ☺️
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I wanted to explore something many of us have experienced, but through a story that would make us smile along the way. I'm so glad the humor landed for you.
Any time! You did it wonderfully! 🥰
It’s refreshing to read something that’s a very frustrating topic for a lot of women told in a way that provides some lighthearted relief at the same time.
As one of my residents always says: “if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry” 😜
As a beekeeper for many many years I loved this! It gave me a smile:)
Unfortunately as beekeepers we "replaced" spent queens and it was quite matter of fact and ruthless.
Thank you for keeping the hive humming with your posts!
Anita, thank you. I'm so glad the essay brought you a smile. Sometimes the most meaningful conversations need a little humor to make them easier to hold.
This is fantastic! Thank you.
Danielle, thank you so much ! I'm glad you liked it.
This is so wonderfully written! What artfully crafted advice!!
Valerie, thank you. My hope is always that the story opens the door to a deeper conversation, so it means a lot to know this one landed with you. Thank you for reading.